Tsunami Grief

A one-hour warning

We were awoken abruptly at 3:50 am one morning this past week. There was loud banging on the front door of our ocean side condo. Startled and fearful of whom it might be, I hesitated to open the door. After the second round of loud knocking, I decided to open the door only to find myself face to face with a fire fighter in full uniform. So many things passed through my mind at that moment. His expression and his words were serious and intense. (more…)

Christmas Cookie Recipes

Embracing both the old and the new in grief

Christmas is a season of contrasts – it involves both old and new. For the grieving, it is also a time of the year that is mixed with sorrow and joy.

When families gather together this time of the year, they often experience a twinge of sadness as they are reminded that there is a person (or people) missing that used to be with us during this time of the year. (more…)


Something happens when you put them on your feet

Okay, they’re not really magic..

But I want to believe that they connect me to something beyond myself for a moment.  And maybe in some way they do. (more…)

Until Death Do Us Part

What a Life

My mother-in-law died this week. She was the mother of my first wife, Pam, who died almost 10 years ago now.

I’m feeling for Dad especially right now, her husband, as I recall my own grief following the death of my first wife. I remember how hard it was for me to even think about a life without Pam. I’m sure it will be hard for Dad too. (more…)

A Birth That Changed My Life


I love all four of my children very much – but the one that changed my life forever was the birth of my first son, Devon.

I will never forget holding Devon in my arms for the first time. His mom had to have a C-section and so following the surgery, they gave Devon to me to hold. (more…)

Dying Is Not the End of Life

If you can count on what’s next!

Dying is hard because of relationships.

Some saying dying is hard because of physical suffering. While I have not personally experienced physical suffering in dying, I have experienced the inner angst that comes from the inevitability of no longer being in relationship with someone whom you love deeply. (more…)

What Would They Say If They Were Present?

Bringing Your Loved One Into the Celebration

This month, I returned to parish ministry following a 4-year sabbatical. One of the individuals who encouraged and supported me to be a pastor when I was young was my first wife Pam who died 9 years ago.

There are many celebrations in life where we wish we could bring back a deceased loved one.

Do you ever find yourself in the middle of a celebration missing that person? (more…)